


Love makes you weak

by Catakira



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Love makes you weak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 11:26:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15773172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catakira/pseuds/Catakira
Summary: Love is weakness, and Lexa learned that the hard way.





	Love makes you weak

Love makes you weak.

 

Lexa learned that the hard way. She thought, when she was young, that she would be able to love and fight. That she could grow old, turn into the commander and establish peace between her people. That she could rule with someone next to her, someone that would love and cherish her and someone she could fight for.

 

She learned the hard way that love and leadership are a ver unstable combination.

 

Before Costia, Lexa was ruthless. She loved her people and she would protect them from anything, but one persons life was disposable in exchange of the wellbeing of her subjects. No one was out of that rule, not even herself.

 

She had killed a lot of people, and she had let another lot die, because of that thought. And, deep down, she still thought it was not a bad idea. She still thought it was fair.

 

But then Costia appeared, and she turned weak. For the first time, there was someone that was not disposable. Someone whose life was not exchangeable. She would let all her people die for Costia. She would kill anyone just so Costia was safe.

 

She loved her. More than she loved her people and more than she loved her own life. And she knew it wasn’t healthy. She knew because so many had told her. Gustus and Indra were dissapointed, Lexa was dissapointed. Even Costia was. But it was a feeling she could not help. Costia was a healer, she couldn’t fight, she needed her protection. She needed to be looked after.

 

That carelessness for her people paid off. It had to, it was just matter of time that something terrible happened. It would eather had been Costia, or everyone else.

 

Deep down, she was glad it was Costia’s head the one she found in her bed that morning.

 

She was devastated, don’t get me wrong. Her love was dead, decapitated, gone forever. But, years later, thinking about it, it was the best of two evils. Her people flourished under the rule of the new Lexa, the new commander. She was ruthless again, she was feared and respected among her people. Those who killed her love were free, yes, but _heda_ was back.

 

And like old times, the most important thing was her people, her family. Everyone was disposable, again, for the benefit of her subjects.

 

Costia’s death left a scar on Lexa’s heart that would not cure easily. Love was weakness. She had been taught that the hard way.

 

That’s why she would not fall into the same trap again. For her safety and the safety of her people.

 

And for Clarke.

 

Being the commander was a big responsibility, and it was dangerous. Not only for her, but for her loved ones. And Clarke did not deserve to be dragged through that hell.

 

But Clarke was different, Lexa told herself. She wasn’t weak, she was a fighter. Yes, a healer too, but mostly a fighter for her people. They were very similar, in a way. Clarke was prepared to risk everything, even her own life, for the wellbeing of others. Lexa admired that. Clarke was a good leader, like her, and her people would flourish if they could find peace.

But she was still forbidden. Clarke meant warmth, happiness and love. And love brought sadness and death. Even though Clarke did not need protection, even though Lexa was older, and more experienced in leadership. Even though they were living times of peace.

 

Love is weakness, and weakness means the death of her people.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone. This is my first fanfic after a very very very long time. (I used to work on another webpage before). I hope you like it!


End file.
